They are using a growing number of relationship websites that have sprung up online. But many of these sites have no supervision, so advice that is ill-advised or even damaging can crowd out advice that may be useful.

It's being taken on board by people who are often emotionally vulnerable, sometimes going through the trauma of a marriage break-up.

These sites can't take the place of sympathetic advice from friends and family, a trained marriage counsellor, or a carefully-monitored daily advice column where identities remain anonymous.

The comfort of strangers...

To me, this new phenomenon is part of a larger problem for which we can thank social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. We've broken down the barriers of privacy to a point where we see no harm in instantly sharing our innermost thoughts and fears with people we barely know. We've become confession addicts, exposing our dirty laundry on a daily basis.

I'm constantly amazed at the way people who've just spilt up with a partner, immediately change their "relationship status" on Facebook to single, informing anyone who's interested - and a fair few who aren't - of the sad news, as if making a public announcement.

It's one thing for teenagers to end five-minute crushes like this, but when adults treat a 10-year marriage the same way, it seems inappropriate and tasteless.

Posting marital problems online can be a form of exhibitionism which serves to inflame a partner and attract a range of sometimes ill-informed opinions that will only make an unhappy situation worse.

Online posts are no substitute

Here are some reasons why I don't think posting problems online for anyone to chip in will give you the relationship help you need...

● Just who's giving you advice?

Some sites have trained counsellors giving advice but, on the whole, anyone can log in, including embittered people with an axe to grind. Without monitoring, you can attract people who enjoy wallowing in others' misfortune.

● Too many opinions are confusing

After posting a problem on these relationship sites you often get loads of responses - all giving different advice and with different agendas. Which, if any, should you listen to?

● Where is the trust?

Good advice - whether it's from a trained counsellor, an advice columnist you have got to know over a long period, or an old friend - comes after building up a relationship of trust. You just can't get the same kind of mutual respect and rapport with the instant reaction of a total stranger on the net.

● Your partner isn't involved

The whole point of couples' counselling, which I advocate on my advice pages, is that both you and your partner are present. If you decide merely to post a problem online - probably without the knowledge of your other half - it won't get you talking to each other. And the people giving their opinions on your relationship inevitably only get to hear one side of the story.

Keep communicating for find a solution

● Talk to each other

Sometimes just opening up lines of communication between you and your partner is enough to work through problems. If talking is tough, write notes to each other or send emails to start explaining what you're feeling.

● Chat to your family

My two sons have volunteered very good advice over the years. Nothing beats advice from blood relatives, as it's always sincere and comes from pure concern.

● Seek out close friends

After family, you can't beat friends for personal advice - especially if they've known you a long time and feel they can be completely honest. The likelihood is they'll know your partner too, for a more objective viewpoint.

I have a group of girlfriends I've known for years who are always on hand. We're the same age and have been through a lot together. We have regular meetings and talk about everything from marriage problems to should I dye my hair? It really helps.

When to call in the professionals

• If problems have being going on for some time, it may be time to try marriage guidance counselling.
• Counselling works by giving you both the chance to be heard. It's an opportunity to look at the problem in a different way with someone who'll respect and encourage your opinions and decisions.
• For many couples, the solution is very simple - it just takes someone objective to point you in the right direction.
• But don't leave it too late. By the time many couples turn to counselling, years of resentment have built up, making it harder to resolve problems, so the earlier you get help the better.
• If you're experiencing any of the following, counselling is well worth considering.
• Your arguments never get resolved, and it feels as if you're hitting a brick wall.
• You're basically leading separate lives.
• You can't talk to your partner about your problems.
• One or both of you often feels hurt, frustrated or confused about your relationship.
• Every time you try to talk things out it turns into a slanging match.
• You feel there's nothing left to say to each other.

Source: Daily Mirror